Warmth in Cold Places
by mykardia
Summary: A short holiday fic--origin story. Not related to any of my other stories. Spock/Nyota


Hey all!

Sorry for not publishing anything recently! I've been so so busy!

Here's a christmas story....it's not related to any of my other stories. Just a little

individual piece.

Unbeta'd!

Love you all!

Enjoy!

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Warmth in Cold Places

Nyota was not excited about Christmas for the first time in her life. She had always loved the holiday season; it meant spending time with her family and friends, laughing over whatever they fancied, and eating cookies by the fire. She could picture the whole scene in her mind; she could hear the laughter ringing through the room. She could see her parent's faces, her brother's smile, and her best friend's twinkling eyes. But not this year.

Nyota shuffled through the cold, fog enveloped, pathways of San Francisco's Star Fleet Acadamey and shivered against the cold. Her hands delved deeper into her coat pockets and she hid her face in her scarf. Her eyes glanced around the deserted buildings. Everyone was gone for the holidays. There was barely a soul left on the entire campus. Except her. She stared at a lamp, its light reflecting off the fog and making the air hazy. Suddenly she felt painfully lonely.

Why was she still here? She wondered to herself. She should be at home, laughing along with her friends and family. Nyota's stomach clenched and she looked away from the light. She shut her eyes against the loneliness that was overwhelming her. Yes, she remembered why she was still here. Her family was off planet and she had to stay at the Academy because she had to take an intensive winter course in Vulcan II. She was the only student in the class. And it was taught by the one person who had the power to make her feel empty, lost, and lonely as hell—Commander Spock.

Nyota gulped and walked away, through the fog. Yes, Commander Spock. The man she was silently and privately in love with. The man who would glance at her, his eyes seeming to smolder and send heat through her body. The half-Vulcan, half-human man who somehow had captured her heart and was killing her little by little by being completely ignorant to the fact that she was in love with him.

Nyota shuffled on, her mind lingering over the commander. He was so tall, his eyes were so deep and seemed to be windows into his soul, his lips were so tempting, his body so slim and huggable, his voice like honey, his eyebrows that seemed to have a life of their own, and his pointed-ears that so enraptured her. But it wasn't just his physical appears that entranced her. No, the man was brilliant. His mind was one enormous enigma that she wished to figure out; he knew everything and he loved sharing his knowledge; he was cunning and amusing in a painfully dry way that sent her into bursts of laughter; he was respectful and he was never biased; he was logical and always reasoned things through; and he was one of the deepest person's she knew. She didn't think most people realized just how much more there was to him than just his Vulcan façade. If you looked closer you could see a soul torn between being human and Vulcan, between following logic and following emotion. And deep down he did care about things, he just made sure never to voice these feelings.

Nyota had once seen him stop by a homeless man, take the man by the arm and take him to a shelter. She had followed him, curious to see what would happen and had been astounded when Spock had given the worker at the homeless shelter his Star Fleet card, with what must have been all of his yearly earnings, and told the assistant, "Make sure he is given an adequate room and nutrients." Coming from a Vulcan that was like human saying "Give him the best room you can get, and make sure he gets good daily meals."

Nyota had been astounded by this act of kindness, but when she had asked him about it he had withdrawn from her and replied blankly, "It is logical to assist those in need. I have no need for the credits I earn; therefore, they are better used by the shelter." Yet she had seen how his hands shock slightly as he said it. She had remained quiet and accepted his explanation.

Nyota shook her head to free herself from the memory and continued on her way. She felt, if possible, lonelier than before. She hear singing and laughing coming from somewhere next to her and looked around to see a couple singing together. As she watched they finished their song and then kissed. Nyota looked away, clenching her fists.

She sighed; she was being so foolish. She needed to study; otherwise Spock would berate her for slacking off. Vulcan's never took holidays. The idea of Spock being mad at her made her heart ache and she continued on towards the library.

She entered the building, to find it empty. There was one desk light on. It felt eerie in there but she shrugged it off. "Computer, lights." She ordered and the library lit up. She strode through the aisles looking for the book she had been assigned to read. When she found it, she slid the PADD off the shelf and took it to a desk. She sat down and started glancing through the book.

It only made her lonelier, as she realized she was the only person left at the Academy who was spending their Christmas all by themselves, with no gifts, no tree, no laughing, and no friends or family. Nyota shook her head, angry at herself for moping. She needed to study this. She tried to concentrate on what she was reading but just couldn't. In the end she decided on studying in her room. At least there the empty space wasn't as big. She made her way back out of the library, making sure to turn off the lights. Back in the fog, she blinked away her grief and walked back to her dorm. As she walked she imagined having Christmas with Spock. She thought how she would make dinner for him; they would eat on his couch and then snuggle up and listen to romantic songs or read poetry to each other. And then at midnight they would exchange presents and kiss under the mistletoe.

I'm losing it, I really am. Nyota thought to herself bitterly. She glanced up at the building next to her and noticed a light in one of the rooms. With a pang she realized it was Spock's room. Her feet stopped of her own accord and she just gazed up at the lit window, isolate and cold, her stomach a cold pit and her heart screaming out for love.

She could go up and wish him Merry Christmas…like she hadn't done that five times already. And give him his present, which she had been carrying around with her for the past week, everywhere she went. And maybe one thing would lead to another and her dream might come true. Or she could keep walking and forever wonder about what could have happened—and keep her heart safe from the one person who could destroy it with a word. Nyota bit her lip, her mind and heart at war. She squeezed her eyes shut and suddenly took a jerky step forwards. Shaking all over she walked through the door into Spock's building and into the elevator.

Her teeth chattering she went up to the fourth floor and stepped out of the elevator into a familiar corridor. She had been there on several occasions, all of them related to academics though. Nyota glanced at the door she knew to be Spock's and almost turned around right then. But her heart was screaming at her to go up and knock, and she knew that if she didn't she'd just go home, curl up into a ball, and cry.

Her feet dragging on the rug she walked to his door and raised a fist to knock. Her knuckles hovered millimeters above the wooden surface. But she couldn't bring herself to do it. She just couldn't do it. She was so terrified. Her heart sped up so much she was scared it would gallop out of her chest and her eyes looked at the floor, filling up. Everyone said she was so strong, admired her skill and her determination. But when it came to this, she was just a lost little girl.

She slowly lowered her hand and turned around. She stared at the door, wishing it would just open. It didn't. She turned around, keeping her eyes on the door and took a step away from it. Her feet felt like lead and suddenly she was trembling like a little girl. She clenched her jaw and took another step away from the door, her eyes still glued to it. And another step. And another. Her heart was breaking within her and she was filled with despair and anger. Nyota did not know how she would be so weak and hated that love could to this to her.

Her hands grabbed the fabric of her jacket and she took another step away from the door. She turned her head way from it and dropped it to her chest, miserable. She shuffled away. When she reached the elevator she took one last glance at the door. She'd just give him the present tomorrow, or throw it way.

And suddenly she was so angry at herself. Her body was filled a terrible ache and rage. Her whole body flinched reflectively and suddenly she dashed back to the room. She didn't give herself time to think; instead she slid to a stop in front of his door and knocked against the wood.

And then she stepped back, breathing hard and absolutely terrified. Her legs were jelly and she wondered briefly if she had time to run away. But the door was opening and Spock was standing there in his pajamas. Nyota's eyes widened as she realized his pajama bottoms had a kitty cats on them.

Nyota was frozen in place as she gazed into his chocolate-brown eyes and lost herself in them. His face was perfectly composed but she detected a glint of something there—her insane mind was making her think it might be joy. But that wasn't possible.

She needed to speak, needed to do _something_. But she couldn't. He broke the silence.

"Nyota, what are you doing out at this time of night without an escort?" His voice was softer than usual she notice and he had called her by her first name. Her heart missed a beat and she almost fell as her knees went weak. She glanced away from him, trying to gain some composure.

"Sorry. Just wanted to stop by. You know…" she mumbled; she had no idea what she was saying. Spock raised an eyebrow and she went hot inside.

"No I do not "know". Please come inside and have tea. You are shaking. Are you cold?" His eyes looked worried and his brow furrowed slightly. He stepped aside to let her pass. Nyota stared at him and then nodded mutely.

"Thanks." She murmured and stepped into his quarters. She smelled a hint of incense and warm food. Her mouth watered and she resisted the urge to sniff the air. She turned to watch Spock lock the door and turn to her. She smiled gently at him, her heart lifting even though she was still nervous as could be.

"Hi…"

"Nyota, is something wrong? You do not seem yourself today. You have bags under your eyes, you shoulders are slumped, you are shaking, and your smile lacks true warmth." He told her, his arms clasped behind his back. Nyota blinked and looked way, ashamed.

"It's nothing. Don't worry about me. I'm just a bit tired." She tried to act cheerful but couldn't manage it. Spock raised an eyebrow slightly and stepped closer.

"Nyota do not lie to me please. I will make a cup of tea and then you may explain to me why you are acting as you are." He led her to the kitchen and she watched as he poured some tea for both of them. For some reason the simple action made her heart ache again—it was done in friendship and nothing more. She knew this and it hurt.

But she smiled when he handed her the cup and led her to his couch. He motioned that she sit, and then sat a foot away from her, nursing his tea. His face was perfectly blank, except for his eyes; his eyes smoldered with concern.

Nyota sniffed her tea and smiled slightly. It was her favorite Vulcan spice blend. She wondered if Spock knew that or had chosen it by chance. She glanced at him over the rim of her cup.

Spock waited a few seconds and then finally stated firmly, "Nyota." She knew what he wanted, but she couldn't tell him. He'd immediately realize how she felt, and she wouldn't risk their friendship for that. So she took a different tactic.

"I already told you Spock, I just tired. Anyways, I came here to give you your Christmas gift. It's traditional and all." She smiled weakly at him and reached into her pocket to retrieve his Christmas present. It was a small, wrapped package. She handed it to him, looking away.

"Sorry, I didn't make a card." She took a sip of the tea and didn't watch while he held the package, a strange expression in his eyes.

"Nyota, I did not ask nor did I expect a gift." He murmured gazing at her. She looked away from him, hoping he couldn't see her hopeless love for him in her eyes.

"Just open it." She told him. He gave her a look and nodded.

"As it is the costume, then I shall." He gently unwrapped the gift. Nyota watched for a change in expression as he gazed at the pair of knitted black gloves. She had knitted them herself, over the course of the semester. She had specifically taken knitting classes over the summer, so she could make him these gloves. But she wasn't going to tell him that.

Spock gently took one of the gloves and pulled it on to his hand. His expression had not changed. The glove fit perfectly, as Nyota knew it would. The silence stretched on and on. Then Spock glanced at her, his eyes unreadable.

"Nyota, this wool costs a credit a yard. To make these you must have used at least one hundred yards. And I assume you knitted them yourself." He stated simply. Nyota's jaw clenched and she looked away. Of course he would know that, she thought bitterly. So much for thinking her secret was hidden.

"Please, just keep them." She muttered, feeling the tears welling up.

"Nyota I cannot. I have never done anything to deserve such a gift." His eyes held hers and she gulped.

"Uh, yah you have. You always help me out with work, and you really helped me get to where I am today. And I know you always get cold in the winter, so just keep them, please." She begged him; if he returned them it would be equivalent to completely rejecting her.

Spock raised an eyebrow and leaned closer. Nyota tried to look away as her vision went blurry, but couldn't. Suddenly he placed a warm hand on her cheek.

"Why are you crying?" his voice was softer and tender. She shook but didn't look away.

"Sorry. Just a bit overwhelmed that's all." She muttered in response.

"Overwhelmed? The Cadet Uhura I know has never once been overwhelmed." His eyes twinkled as he stated this and she gaped. He was teasing her! Of all the times to gain a sense of humor it had to be now!

She couldn't help it, she let out a wet chuckle. "Yah well, the Uhura you know wouldn't spend every free moment of her semester learning to knit gloves for someone who wouldn't even want them." Her voice was bitter she knew and she looked away from him. But not before she saw his eyes widen and a flash of hurt pass through his eyes.

His other hand reached around her face and made her look at him. The fire she saw in his eyes took her breath away. "Nyota, look at me." It was a command. "Tell me the reason for you actions. If you have a logical one, then I shall take the gloves, if not, then no for I do not deserve such a gift. Especially from you." His voice was hard but his eyes were gentle.

Nyota's breath quickened and she heart raced. He was asking her to admit her love to him? This couldn't be. She shook where she sat, shivers running up and down her body. This was the moment she'd been waiting for two years. She knew he had noticed the change in her heart beat and her shaking, but he didn't comment.

Licking her lips she took a breath and spilled, "I did it because I love you. I did it because I am hopelessly in love with you and I couldn't' think of anything else that you might like that I could make for you. And I did it because I gave me an excuse to think about you constantly as I sewed the mittens for you." There, it was all out. She sat, frozen in place, waiting for his response. She was terrified, completely terrified. But all she could do was wait, while her heart tried to run away from her and her stomach clenched in pain.

The time that lapsed could not have been more than a few seconds, but it seemed like a life time to her. Then Spock blinked and his lips twitched up. His eyes took on a tenderness she had rarely seen and when he spoke his words were sweet as honey, "I accept your gift. And your feelings. I cannot give you a gift in return as I have none, but, my heart does mirror yours."

Nyota gasped and the tears she had held back spilled down her cheeks. She felt like she was floating, her whole body felt like feathers and her heart leaped within her. He loved her back. He loved her back! Her mind was in denial but her soul knew the truth. She smiled brilliantly into his eyes and the tears continued to fall.

He gazed back at her and she could tell he was worried. She smiled even more and laughed.

"Happy tears Spock, happy tears." She chuckled and placed her hands over his. He was so warm.

Spock's eyes crinkled and a strange sound came from his chest. Nyota stopped crying and listened. Then she realized what it was. Spock was purring!

"Spock, you're purring!" She exclaimed and leaned closer to him to envelope him in a hug. His hands went behind her back and she pressed her face into his chest. Her whole body vibrated with the force of his purring.

"Do you purr often?" She asked curiously.

The purring immediately stopped, "I assure you Nyota, no one else has ever had this affect on me." Nyota grinned like a fool. So she wasn't the only inexperienced one.

"And I promise you Spock, I've never loved anyone else either." She held him tighter, her arms wrapping themselves around his neck. The butterflies in her stomach were having a party and her mind was in bliss.

Spock's purring returned and one of his hands stroked her back. He tucked his head into her neck; his breath tickles and made her stomach swoop. They sat there for what seemed like less than ten minutes but what turned out to be an hour. Nyota only moved when Spock stopped purring and moved away. She instantly missed his warmth.

"Nyota, your stomach rumbled. Have you not eaten?" Nyota looked up into his eyes and could see he was very concerned.

She shook her head, "I can't remember when I last ate. I've been so stressed about finals and everything." She knew it was futile to lie to him. He raised an eyebrow.

"You must take better care of yourself. I shall prepare dinner." He stood up and took her hand. He gently brushed his fingers against her palm, effectively taking her breath away. She ginned.

"That sounds wonderful. But Spock. Wait one second, please." Nyota squeezed her eyes shut, she needed to know this.

"How are we going to do this? Student and teacher relationships are strictly forbidden." She bit her lip and couldn't look at him. Suddenly he swooped down and lifted her up. She flailed and then laughed.

"Spock! You scared me!"

"Nyota, in one week you will no longer be my student. I do not see the problem." His deep brown eyes gazed into hers and she sighed. He was right, as always. And she'd never been happier that he was.

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Reviews are love!

Um, for all of you reading Till the End of Time I'll have a few chapters done by the time I get back from my cabin--sorry no internet up there

so I can't publish anything for th next 10 days. Hold on until then! Thanks =)

Happy Holidays!


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